The Journey for Jenna

I'll start with our arrival in LA.  (By the way ladies, I traveled in a dropwaist dress with an oversized denim shirt as my jacket, walking shoes and thick socks.  No purse, just my diaper bag.  I was very comfortable for the entire flight.)  The little bags of personal care items they provide on the flight are a great help, but my toothbrush kept coming apart so bring your own.  The kits come with a razor, toothpaste, toothbrush, "slippers" and an eyemask.  I loved the stickers that you can put on that say "Wake me for meals."  I forgot to put my sticker on, but woke up several hours later with a sandwich laid next to my head.  We decided to keep one of the kits to give to Jenna to play with when she gets a little bit older.  Don't worry if you sleep through everything.  Just head for the galley and ask for food or drink. Our flight attendants were most willing to provide whatever we needed when we we needed it.  We elected to fly coach to save money.  I am glad that we did, at least on the way over.  The flight was underbooked, so my husband and I were each able to have a five seat row to ourselves for stretching out and sleeping undisturbed.

We were traveling with a group of 11 families...what a delight!  We were an eclectic group, to say the least.  There was one special needs couple who had children from a previous marriage.  Three couples, including ourselves were all non special needs.   One couple was unable to take the trip as a couple, so while Dad stayed home, Mom and her wonderful sister-in-law came along to help out.  The rest of our group was all single Moms, some traveling with their Moms, some traveling with friends and loved ones.  Everyone had a "helper", and all the "helpers" helped out all of us along the way.  We were truly blessed by the presence of our trip mates.

All of our waiting children were girls, ranging in age from approximately 10 months to 22 months.  I had hooked up with a number of APC'ers before we left, so it was a real comfort to "know", at least a little bit, some of the people who we were traveling with.  We also had the great fortune to shadow a large group from China's Children.  We crossed paths everywhere in Nanchang, and were all on the same floor at the White Swan.  The playgroups in the hallways with approximately 20 little girls were a sight to see!

The flight from LA to Beijing was great.  One thing we did that helped was to stay up all night the night before.  Sleep came easily on the way, but I did take an Excedrin P.M. as insurance.  The food was a bit strange but good.  No food poisoning on the way over ( I did get it on the way back though, YUCK...that's a later chapter).   We arrived in Beijing tired but excited, although we knew we wouldn't be getting our girls for a few days.

Upon arrival, we met our guides, a young man and a young lady.  The man was to be our Beijing guide; the young lady, Gail, was our national guide.  We were whisked away to a restaurant immediately.  The last thing they wanted us to do was to check in and sleep.  The point was to keep us up and help us adjust to China time.  Alas, the restaurant we went to was, in a word, awful.  We walked through dark, dank corridors till we finally were in a banquet type room.  I, for one, was bit nervous since the restaurant was so bleak.  The food was bad, the service, worse.  Our spirits somewhat dampened by our first foray into Chinese culture, we got back onto our bus and headed for the hotel. 

Checking into our hotel in Beijing was interesting.  The folks who got their keys before us were having trouble turning on the lights in their room.  We APC'ers knew the drill; stick the plastic part of your keychain in the slot and voila!  the electricity in your room is on!  Kara444444 (another APC'er) and I did a high five and a "Thank You APC!" in the hallway over that one.  It was the first of many "Thank You's" we gave to the list during our fourteen day trip.  We also tied a washcloth around the faucet in the bathroom to remind us not to drink the water or brush our teeth with it.  I was extra
careful and did not even use it to rinse my contact lenses.

Gail told us to be in the lobby at 8:00 a.m. sharp for a day trip.  Prior to heading off to bed, Gail stopped at all of our rooms to make sure everyone was comfortable.   Stopping at our room, Gail noticed how tall my husband is (he's 6'4").   She promised us a queen sized bed for the rest of the trip instead of the two singles most of the rooms had.  And she delivered, much to my husband's delight.

The next morning, Gail was our only guide.  The young man had been fired by Gail for taking us to such an awful restaurant.  Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief and we began the journey for our daughters.  We did the entire "tourist thing" and I am so glad we did. Our whirlwind tour of the Beijing area included the Great Wall - very much the tourist trap.  Unless you're in pretty good shape, take the tram up the hillside.  The climb is fairly exhausting and with the humidity we had there in September; well, let's just say I took the tram up the hill!  If you go to the Great Wall, get yourself one of the baby quilts or you'll be kicking yourself for the rest of your trip.  They are baby sized, well made and come in several different styles. We bought a panda design for Jenna's room.  It cost us all of $8; our guide said we probably could have gotten it for $6.  For those of you Noah's Ark fans, they have Noah's Ark quilts too.  I really wish I would have gotten more.  It's a wonderful momento and it didn't take up much room at all. The wall itself is breathtaking, but in all honesty, we had a blast negotiating with the vendors.

One of the highlights of our trip was our visit to the Olympic Training Center.  We were able to see the Women's Volleyball Team, Women's and Men's Gymnastics Team, and meet the reigning Women's Shot Put World Champion.  Although she is German, she was training in China to prepare for a meet in another part of the world.  I was in awe of the physical condition and the extremely young age of the competitors that we met.   The director of the center explained to us that children who show athletic prowess are selected for the Olympic Program at very young ages; some as young as four years old.   They live and attend school in the Olympic Village.  Compared to the high tech training centers that I have seen in the United States, the Chinese Center had some things to be desired, but it clearly has not impeded the ability of these athletes, or their complete dedication to their sport. 

We also went to the Forbidden City, the Temple of Heaven,  th Beijing Opera (marvelous!)and the Summer Palace along with visits to silk stores, a cloissone factory and some other sponsored shopping trips.  Hey, if you make it to a department store, be sure and check out the kids shoes!  They're beautifully made, inexpensive and very cute for little ones.  Again, I wish I would have bought a few more pairs.   Don't bother looking for Chinese baby dolls in the department stores.  We went to two stores in China and all we could find were very American looking, blonde Barbie-type clones.  

The Beijing Opera was our last night out before heading to Nanchang.  The finality of it all finally hit me that night and I became rather sick.  I know that it was not from the food; I had been very careful.  I am certain it was the nervousness of knowing that within twenty four hours I would become "Mommy"; a role I had previously felt I was uttely prepared for.  As the time wound down to our departure to Nanchang, my nausea increased along with my fear that I would not be a good parent.   I left the Opera literally every fifteen minutes to visit the ladies room.  A very nice ladies room it was, too.  I finally remembered to take money in with me the last time to tip the matron.  I think she was worried I was going to pass out in the bathroom, poor woman!

The next morning at breakfast, our agency gave us a wonderful surprise.  A package containing a necklace and silk pajamas for our daughters was presented to each of us. We made one quick trip during the day( I cannot for the life of me remember where we went).   Then we packed up and headed for the airport for the trip to Nanchang.  Now, keep in mind, we did not know for certain that we would get the babies that night.   We hoped we would, but we didn't know. Gail, our wonderful guide, had not given us an exact date. Her logic was simple; if we didn't know  when we would get the babies, we would not be disappointed if there was a delay. She also wanted us to enjoy the sightseeing portion of our tour and to learn as much about the culture and people of China that we could without having to manage a new baby.  I agreed with her logic.   There were a number of folks in our group, however, who just wanted to hurry up and get their children. 

I'd like to stop here for a minute and pass along some unsolicited advice to you would-be travelers.  Here's some suggestions that will make the trip easier for you.  1.   Keep an open mind.  2.  Don't expect that everyone in your group will share your opinion.  3. Don't be surprised if there are some people in your group that you don't mind if you never see them again.  4.  Be patient.  5.   Hope for the best but don't dwell on it or complain about it if it's not the best.   I'm not trying to sound callous here; just realistic.  Remember, you don't pick your trip mates and they don't pick you.  Just do your best to get along and be tolerant and you'll be fine.  Enough said.

Leaving for Nanchang, we ran into a snag at the airport.   A ticket for one of our group was  filled out incorrectly.  We also were overweight with our luggage.  (Have I mentioned to you that our group LOVED to shop?  Well, it was catching up with us in the form of extra weight.)    It was a little dicey at the gate.  I really thought we might miss the plane.  Luckily, our guide got us through the problems and we sprinted out onto the tarmack to catch the plane.  We were the last passengers to board but we made it.  There was yet another group on this trip, a group of three families who were also traveling to Nanchang to get their children.  I've got to tell you...the adoptive families are pretty darn easy to spot.   Most of us are over 35 and have, as one of our group described it, "identical wrinkles".  It got to be rather funny actually.  We didn't even ask after awhile.  We would just turn to the person or couple next to us and say, "What's your baby's name?"  and "Can I see the picture".  I don't think we were ever wrong. 

Our in-flight meal consisted of a hotdog-like sandwich and something I was told was the Chinese equivalent of popcorn - freeze dried peas and corn with salt.  There was a sweet something in there too.  I ate all of it and found it to be just fine.   Others in our group found it a bit too odd and avoided it.  I didn't get sick...this time.  A couple of our group members used this time to write in their trip journals; something I wish I would have been more diligent about doing. 

Landing in Nanchang, we again schlepped our carryons across the tarmack to the airport. The airport appeared to be a tiny little place, in the middle of nowhere, but it was dark and we really couldn't tell.  The Lakeview Hotel was our next stop  and the bus they sent for us was entirely too small for our entourage.   I was in the back row with one of the largest suitcases I've ever seen balanced on my lap.  I couldn't even see the person next to me. We kept waiting for official word from Gail that the babies would be there, but she hadn't done anything but give us additional information about Nanchang and the Lakeview.   At last (it was probably two minutes after we boarded the bus; it felt like two hours), Gail stood up.  We collectively held our breath.  "I just wanted you to know," she said, "You will be getting your babies tonight."  Just
writing those words again sends shivers up and down my spine.  Oh!  Those words!   Excuse the melodrama, but my God...isn't it what we all wait for from the time we first even think about the adoption process?  And then I KNEW my Jenna was minutes away from me, and that my life would never be the same. From that point on, no matter what anyone said, we laughed as if it were the funniest thing we had ever heard. Everyone was giddy on the rest of the drive to the hotel.  You could feel the excitement in the air.

Right before we entered the hotel, Gail gave us a warning: "There may be some babies in the lobby when we arrive.  DO NOT go to them.  There are other families here also getting their babies.  These might be their babies.  I repeat, DO NOT go to any babies you see.  Just get checked into your rooms and I will let you know if the babies are here."  Well, we got off the bus and walked - or should I say floated? - into the hotel.  What a beautiful place; do you think I even noticed?   Nope.  Gail ran to the desk to start our check-in.  One of our fellow adoptive parents went with her.  "The babies are on the fifth floor," said the desk clerk.  Of course, that traveled back to our little group in about two seconds flat. 

Gail doled out the keys and we headed upstairs.  We entered the room.  And there it was.  A crib.  Right next to our bed.  What a series of emotions that ran through me!  I didn't know whether to laugh out loud, burst into tears or do a combination of the two.  And then I heard it.  Voices.  Babies crying.   I ran out to the hallway.  And there they were.  A large group of adults, carrying THE BABIES.  "Tom, Tom, get out here, get out here now!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.  "And get the video camera!".  I watched them, pacing now, back and forth.  Which one was Jenna?  Would she look like her picture?  Would she be scared?  Would she take to me?  Oh, dear God in heaven are we doing the right thing?   A million thoughts ran through my head.   Suddenly, I saw Gail, accompanied by a man  had never seen.  With her usual precision, Gail ran from room to room.  "Turn off the air conditioning and get a bottle ready.  We'll be back."  And then she left.

Naturally, being the totally organized person that I am, I couldn't find the bottle, the formula...nothing.  So I ran next door and borrowed what I needed.  As I turned to leave my neighbor's room, I saw a beautiful young woman carrying a baby heading in my direction.  This is it!  Then I saw Gail. "This is Kara's baby" she said.  Oh.  I was let down, but I was also just a little bit relieved.  I needed to slow down the beating of my heart and chase all those nagging doubts about my ability to parent away before they gave me my daughter.   One by one, the babies were taken to their parents.  And then, I started getting restless.  Where IS Jenna, I kept thinking?  Where IS she?  I was summoned to another Mother/Child reunion to snap pictures.  While I was snapping away, a voice said, "Lisa, get out here.  It's your turn." 

I ran to our room.  And waited.  A small, older woman walked slowly toward me with a sleeping, sweaty child dressed in orange pants and a purple shirt.  She held the child toward me and said to me, in English, clearly practiced for just such an occasion, "Here's your baby, Momma" and handed Jenna to her new Mommy.    I found out later she was her foster mother.  I stared at my child...MY CHILD...wow; those words (although spoken in my heart and my head only) were overwhelming to me.  Her eyes were closed but I recognized that little rosebud mouth from her referral picture.  "Should I wake her up?"  I asked Gail, the wonder-guide.  "I read on the list that you were supposed to wake a sleeping child so they weren't confused when they woke up."   "She'll be confused no matter what, Lisa.  Do what you feel is best," said
Gail.  "Li Ying...Li Ying... " I said over and over to the child in my arms.  "Wake up honey, wake up."  Suddenly, her eyes flew open.   Confusion.  Fear.  Then absolute terror was reflected in those big brown eyes.  "It's okay honey, Mommy's here."  Oh, if only I could remembert the Chinese words for "I'm your Mama"!  Gail taught them to us on the bus and damn it, I couldn't remember!  Jenna's arms and legs flailed against me, her sobs so great that she was taking in huge gulps of air with no sound at all was coming out.   Instinctively, I started to rock with her as we sat on the edge of the bed. Back and forth, her little heart thumping like crazy against my chest.  My own heart ached as the little eyes slowly began to show resignation and ultimately, defeat.  She knew I was not going to put her back into the arms of anyone who looked, sounded or smelled familiar to her.   How many people had this child been handed over to in the first 11 months of her life?  I had the feeling she'd been through this before.   She was too ready; she conceded too quickly to me.  "I swear to you, " I said to her so only she could hear, "I will never, ever leave you."   I could only pray that she understood the emotion behind the words, since the English was no doubt totally foreign to her little ears.

Meanwhile, my husband kept taping, and Gail and the orphanage director looked on.  I fumbled for my prepared list of questions, hoping that I would remember the answers.   Although Tom was taping the entire meeting, I still wanted to sear the words of the director in my brain.  He pulled a worn, pocket spiral notebook from his left pants pocket, flipped through till he found the page marked "Li Ying" and we began.   The conversation went something like this:  What does she eat?  Formula, congee and fruit, especially apples.  What is her routine.  Bed at 8:00 (it was already past that), wakes up at 3 for a bottle and goes poo; back to bed and up at 7:00.   Congee for breakfast, then she will poo again around 11.  Lunch at noon, nap at 2.  What is her demeanor?  She is known for her sweet personality.  Was she in foster care or the orphanage?  She was in foster care.  I'm sure I should have asked 50 other questions, but quite honestly, I wanted to be alone with my husband and my daughter.  We thanked the director, said goodnight to Gail, then we were alone.  And we were parents. 

Jenna by this time had the resigned look on her sweet little face that we would come to know very well for the first four or five days.  She simply sat in my lap and stared at us, her new Mommy and Daddy, who had taken her away from the only world she had ever known.  I think I would have cried, too, had I been her.  It's very difficult to describe the intensity of emotion that you feel when you see and hold your daughter for the first time.  I've had friends describe it as "Instant Love" and "I knew she was destined for me" and other fairly poetic phrases.  While I can turn a phrase or two of my own, I had none of those feelings at that particular time.  I knew I loved her; that was a given.  But I can only describe the overall feeling as "larger than life".  Literally.  I was absolutely certain that she weighed at least 20 pounds and was probably
29" inches long.  I knew that none of the clothing I had brought would fit her.   Even now, as I trace back to the moment when I looked down at my sleeping daughter, I picture her almost toddler sized.  And believe me folks, she wasn't.  Jenna was, and is, very small for her age.  She was just under 15 pounds when she was given to us, and barely 26" long.  She fit in mostly 6-9 month clothes, some 3-6 month.  For your Gymboree fans out there, she fit great in Layette; Infant would do, but it was a bit baggy.  Now do you see what I mean when I say she was larger than life?  I had "bonded" with her picture for the last two months, to the point where I used to look at the one on my desk and say, "Hang on Jenna, Mommy's coming!"  I used to listen to the song "Get Here" by Oleta Adams over and over and over again.  (It's a song about reaching the one you love, who lives hills, mountains and oceans away.  Pretty apropos, wouldn't you say?)  The line "You can reach me in an airplane, you can reach me with your mind" actually was a comfort to me.  Because, as silly or ridiculously sentimental as this may sound to you, I genuinely tried to "reach her with my mind" every day.  I would look at the clock and think, "Jenna's having her dinner now" or "Jenna's going to bed now" and picture her.  And I knew that eventually, I was going to reach her in an airplane, so the song held great significance to me.

After a few short minutes of Jenna sizing us up (two totally inexperienced 35+ yuppies, whose previous parenting experience was limited to two cats) we decided we'd better get her cleaned up.  Let me a take a minute to describe Jenna's clothes and her physical condition.  Unlike many of the children in our group, Jenna had a full, thick head of hair.  A quick check for lice showed nothing; I breathed a sigh of relief.  Her little purple striped shirt was buttoned up over a white thermal t-shirt with a duck on it.  Her orange striped pants were split pants.  She had a cloth between her legs ( and boy, was she wet) held up by an elastic band.  White socks and navy blue tennis shoes completed her outfit.  It wasn't until we got home and actually machine washed her clothes that we found the little embroidered handkerchief in her pocket.   Clearly, her foster mother had dressed her up for the occasion.  We stripped her down and gave her a quick sponge bath.  I thought a tub bath would be too traumatic just now, so the sponge bath was a compromise.  She HOWLED the entire time.   Just what a new Mommy and Daddy want to do.  Make their child howl.  It was the first of many guilt trips I would take that evening.  I quickly put her in her pj's ( they said "happy baby" all over them; how innacurate that was at that particular time), gave her a bottle and she conked out without another peep.

Tom stayed and kept an eye and ear out while I ran downstairs to fax the world of our joyous news.  When I got back to the room, Tom was crashed out, dead asleep.  I quickly and quietly got ready for bed, but was fairly certain that sleep would elude me.   My head was spinning with the surrealism of it all.  I kept thinking, has this last two years been a dream?  Is this child really mine?  I crept into bed and laid my head on the pillow.  For about 10 minutes, I wrestled with sleeplessness, finally giving in to what I wanted to do.  I sat up, scrunched down to "cribside" (We had placed the crib between the wall and the bed), wrapped the covers 'round my legs and stared at my daughter.  I stayed that way all night, alternately weeping and smiling, reaching out to stroke her little back and touch her cheek.  It was, without a doubt, the most wonderful night of my life.

Jenna woke up at 3:00 a.m. on the dot, crying and ready for a bottle.  Her cry was so small, it sounded like a newborn's.  (I had not yet learned the expression "trained night feeder" since I hadn't really talked to our pediatrician in detail.  For the uninformed, a trained night feeder is an older child who has been "trained" that they should be fed during the night. Therefore, they will continue to wake up and cry for a bottle for as long as you continue to feed them. We stopped the night feedings right after we returned home and immediately Jenna began sleeping through the night....12 hours straight as a matter of fact.)  I picked up Jenna to comfort her while Tom fumbled with a bottle.  I had always listened with envy as my child bearing friends complained about the night feedings,  wishing that I too would be able to complain about the same thing one day.  So, here was my first initiation into the routine of parenting, night feedings, and what did  I do?  I blew it, big time.  In my worry to keep her from crying, I told Tom to make the formula with two scoops to each ounce of boiled water.  In actuality, it's one scoop for every two ounces.  Jenna's first early a.m bottle had the consistency of paste; I actually started to feed it to her before I realized my mistake...what a rookie.   (Don't forget your Rubbermaid 32 oz bottle folks; that's how you mix up your formula.  By the way, we took soy and milk based formula for Jenna; we started her on soy and kept her on it the entire time.  We went through four cans.  We took it out of the cans and put it into ziploc bags to save space.)

Sidebar here:  We had heard all the stuff about mixing the formula with sugar, putting cereal in it, enlarging the nipple holes, etc.  Well, we tried the cereal, the sugar and the enlarged holes.  How much sugar?  How much cereal?  How big are the holes supposed to be?  No one ever really told us, so we shot from the hip.  Not too mention the sugar packets that you have to stock up on prior to receiving your travel permission; I wonder if McDonald's ever got wise????  Anyway, after a couple of days, I just tried ordinary formula - no sugar, no cereal, and in a Playtex Nurser.  Guess what?  She actually drank it better than the other bottles.  The only oddity was the temperature that she liked her bottle - very hot!

We corrected the bottle problem and got her back to bed.  Still, I couldn't sleep.   Remember back in high school and college when something really great had happened to you and you didn't really sleep due to all the excitement?  Like a great date, a great exam score or just a really great time at a party or something?  And you were tired the next day, but it was a GOOD tired, so it didn't really matter?  Well, that's what you will feel like the entire time you are in China. Tired, but GOOD tired.   So you just don't care if you're not sleeping. 

It was my first morning of getting a baby (and me) ready for a long day.  Jenna was lethargic; not smiling, just mostly robotic. She let me dress her, even allowing me to put shoes and socks on her without a whimper.  I look back at the pictures of her those first few days and her expression is so hollow; she has the face of a baby, but with the eyes of a very old woman.  Sadness and resignation.  I was, naively, hoping for smiles, but it was clear that was not going to be immediately forthcoming.

We trooped down to breakfast, not realizing that the Lakeview only has four high chairs.   Remember, there were 11 families in our group and almost as many in the China's Children group.  So high chairs were few and far between. Alas, we were rather slow to get there so, of course, there wasn't a high chair available.  Jenna had breakfast sitting on my lap.  In retrospect, it was probably good, since the only thing that made Jenna show any animation was food.  The Lakeview has a buffet available for every meal and we took adantage of it, feeding Jenna the congee that the director had suggested.  As I started to feed her, Jenna suddenly came to life.  The first spoonful of the plain congee went down easily; the second was a struggle.  Not a struggle to get her to eat; a struggle for me to control the spoon.  My little automaton reached out with both hands and grabbed the spoon for dear life, pulling it to her mouth.  After that, I couldn't feed her fast enough.  Remember this equation: Brand New (Mommy + Daddy) + Very Hungry Baby - High Chair = One Big Mess.     Soon, I was wearing more congee than Jenna had eaten.  It was amazing to watch her eat.  When I finally got the spoon routine down where she couldn't grab at it, she figured out that the food was coming from the bowl, so why not grab that?  Needless to say, it was a learning experience!  (Take extra wipes along with you for meals; they come in very handy.  They will get congee out of your hair as long as you have a comb, too.)

It was time to board the bus for the registrar's office.  It was then that I got my first experience with the infamous "Sarah's Ride".  The Sarah's Ride is a wonderful child carrier.  The child actually straddles your hip, leaving your arms free.  The first time you put it on, it's a bit difficult, especially if you leave the directions in the United States.  We stood in the lobby for a full five minutes until we were sure we had it right.  Jenna took to it immediately, probably because of the secure feeling it gave her.  She could lean against me but still use her hands if she wanted to grab at anything.  I liked it a lot, because I could leave her strapped to me for those infamous Chinese bus rides.  Yes, they're wild, but I've got to tell
you....I thought they were great!  Sure, we had some near misses, but no accidents.   For the faint of heart (or long of leg),  stay towards the back of the bus. That way, you can't really tell how close you come to hitting anything (I'm not kidding).

The registrar's office was packed; the China's Children group was there when we got there, so we waited while they were processed. Then, of course, with eleven families in our group, it took quite a while to get through the papework.  Jenna was a trooper, not crying, but not really doing much of anything else either.  It was clear that we would be there through lunch, so I dug out the international food of all children:   Cheerios.  This was Jenna's first experience with them and it was worth every moment just to see her little face.  She loved them.  We almost got a smile out of her, but not quite.  The processing took quite awhile, but finally we were called.   One of our trip mates ran the video camera while we did the paperwork.  Jenna had to put a footprint on the documents and Tom and I had to swear that we would not abandon or abuse her.  They also asked us if we were certain she was the child in the picture, and if we were "satisfied" with her.  We were presented with a plate as a gift from the orphanage and the director asked us to send pictures back so they could see Jenna in her new home.  Gail, our ever dilligent wonder-guide, interpreted this entire session for us. It was simple, straightforward and very easy to complete.   (All of the paperwork in China is very cut and dried; don't concern yourself with the processing of it; just follow your instructions, have your papers in order and you will be fine). 

Later that night, we headed down for dinner with a couple of other families in our group.   We were smart and got their in time to snag a high chair.  Buffet again, this time with Jenna on my hip so maybe I could get a smile out of her.  If congee made her come alive, I had high hopes of what an entire buffet could do for her demeanor.   As we headed toward the buffet table, the band started singing a song that stopped me dead in my tracks.  It sounded like the opening strains to "Get Here" - a song that I described in an earlier chapter of this story, and one I identified strongly with Jenna due to the lyrics.  I stopped to listen to the band and two wonderful, almost magical things happened.  This band, which until now had been playing old standards like "Moon River", was actually playing "Get Here".   And Jenna started singing along - and smiling.  The first real smile from my daughter  - while her Mommy stood crying in the middle of a restaurant in Nanchang.

The rest of the week in Nanchang was spent conducting the adoption formalities.  The visit to the Notary was probably the most nerve wracking, as we were taken into rooms separately from our group and asked our questions behind closed doors.  We weren't worried about anything; it's just that the adoption proceedings were held in a large room with all of our trip mates at virtually arms length; definitely a comfort.  Here, we were in a room with just the notary.  A note here:  Please do not think that our trip experience is "gospel".  In the past, there have been postings that stated words to the effect "this is how your so-and-so will go".  In my opinion, that is simply not true.  Everyone's experience differs, based not only on your province but on your guide, your outlook, etc.  Just read this and other stories and learn from it, but by no means should you think that your experience will be a virtual carbon copy of ours or anyone elses.  One of the most interesting things about the visit with the notary was the presence of our gift wrapping in the trash next to the desk.   Clearly, our groups gifts had been opened prior to our appointments.  I don't think the quality of the gifts reflected upon the service that we received, but it was interesting to note it, just the same.   Our notary was female and strictly business.  No taping, no pictures allowed.  She went through the formalities with barely a smile.  Finally, at the end, I asked where Jenna was found.  She seemed to soften a bit at my asking this question.  "Your daughter was found at the age of six days at the entrance to the county building in the city of her birth.   She was from a very poor village.  She was very sad.  Now, she is going to be very happy with a family who loves her very much."  With that she smiled, stood, handed us our papers and asked us to send in the next group.  We found out later that all the Certificates of Abandonment for the children in our orphanage stated that the children were found in the same location.  We were told that it is a very common place for infants to be left, as it is a high traffic area where the babies are bound to be found virtually immediately.

We continued through the week in Nanchang with a few sightseeing and shopping trips (our groups luggage was always overweight!).  Some people went into Nanchang on their own during free time, but we liked the afternoons for the playgroups that just sort of naturally occurred in the hallway.  In our rooms in both Nanchang and Guangzhou, there were large, down filled comforters in the cabinets beneath the television sets.   These were perfect for spreading out in the hallways to cushion the floor for the babies.  What a site these playgroups were!  (Take lots of photos and lots of video during these sessions!)  Generally there were at least 10 or more babies, laughing, playing, crying, screaming and just generally having a good time.  It also gave the parents a break, since we could somewhat share childcare responsibilities.   One group we met there actually took turns babysitting the playgroups; while two or three sets of parents might grab an hour for a rest, a meal or a trip to town, the others would watch the kids.  Not a bad idea if you need a little break.  We never did this though as we were just so enthralled at spending as much time as we could with Jenna.

Jenna did well with the other children.  She actually smiled more and seemed more at ease with the babies then she did alone with us.  One of the most interesting times with Jenna was at evening bedtime and naptime.  Jenna hated to go to sleep, a pattern that stayed with her upon our arrival home as well.  When we would put her down in her crib, she would immediately start rubbing her face (tearing at it would be a more accurate description), actually cutting herself with her fingernails, especially her ears.   (Yes, we trimmed her nails; she still managed to cut herself from time to time).   When we received Jenna, her ears were slightly infected and full of scabs; obviously, digging at her ears was a normal behavior of hers.  Additionally, she tore at her hair. She actually had a small bald patch on one side of her head in the back.    No matter what we did, she did not stop the behavior prior to sleeptime.   During this period of cranial and facial scratching, she would also gibber nonstop in Chinese.  (Of course, we had no idea what she said).  We found out from talking to other individuals in our group that their daughters manifested the same behaviors.  (Since our return home, this behavior only appears when Jenna is very upset or extremely tired...much to our relief).

At last we were finished in Nanchang and ready to head for Guangzhou.  Our wonderful friends from China's Children were on the same flight, so it was packed with babies and new parents.  It was interesting to note the expressions on virtually everyone's face.  We were all so eager to get to Guangzhou.  When you reach this point in your journey, check the "giddiness" level of your group. While it doesn't match the goofiness we exhibited the night we received our babies, you could tell that the end of the trip was nearing and we were all relieved to be making the last leg.  The flight, as with the previous one, was packed.  Tom and I were separated so I handled Jenna alone.  Luckily, two of my tripmates were seated with me and were a tremendous help.  The food, again, was a bit strange but palatable.  My seat partner suggested hanging onto the dried fruit for later, just in case Jenna became constipated - a great suggestion.  I found the in-country flights to be quite a bit different than the flight from L.A. to Beijing.  For one thing, our landing in Guangzhou was so steep and so fast; a bit scary, but we made it just fine.  Jenna never let out a peep. 

(Another note here...we were told that Chinese children do not have pacifiers; something we found to be true.  There were individuals who started their children on pacifiers upon receiving their babies, much to the consternation of the Chinese.  One woman actually came up and ripped the pacifier out of a baby's mouth and threw it on the ground in disgust; but I digress...we were not interested in putting Jenna on a pacifier.   To prevent her from having ear problems due to the pressure, we simply gave her a bottle at take off and landing.  This presented no problems and kept us from using a pacifier.)

We deplaned and boarded the bus for the infamous White Swan (or should I say the White Stork?) We had a wonderful time in Guangzhou. Everything went like clockwork.  We were still shadowing our China's Chidren group and had most of them on our floor, so the afternoon playgroups were HUGE!  We had lots of free time to roam the city, so we took full advantage of it.  If you decide to hit the open air market, heed this advice:  make sure you have a strong stomach.  Yes, it's wonderful.  Yes, I thoroughly enjoyed it, but about a half an hour or so was enough for me.  It did make me appreciate the culture and the vibrancy of the city, so I am very glad that I went.   We went with another couple and two of us ended up leaving a bit earlier than the other two.  My husband found it so fascinating, he actually went back again.  By the way, don't take the stroller either.  Since most of the animals are selected live by the buyers, the actual "preparation" of the animal makes for quite a bit of mess on the walkways of the market.  You'll want to thoroughly clean your shoes afterwards, too.

A few shopping tips:  We did a lot of shopping at the small stores near the White Swan, especially the Shop on the Stairs.  An idea here for your chop:  Have your daughter's name and adoption date put on it!  One of the members in our group did this and it was wonderful. We also copied this person's idea of purchasing Jenna's christening dress in China.  We bought a number of items in the White Swan, including our stroller.  While their prices at the Swan were higher than other shops, we still found the items to be a good bargain.  One APC'er suggested that we buy Jenna something from China for each year through her eighteenth year, so we did just that.   It was a great idea.  However, probably the souveniers that received the greatest accolades from friends and family members were the Hard Rock Cafe t-shirts we brought back!

One evening, we had dinner at a small cafe, a couple of blocks from the White Swan and just down the street from the Shop on the Stairs.  While we waited for our meals to be delivered, I balanced Jenna on my lap and chatted with some of our traveling companions.  All of the sudden, Jenna let out a gusher of vomit - all over me, the table and the ground.  I quickly cleaned her up and left the group to eat dinner (not really all that appetizing after the mess, but they endured) and hurried Jenna back to the hotel.  As I passed the Shop on the Stairs, the propietor saw me, waved me over and said, "What's wrong with the baby?"  I explained to her that Jenna had gotten sick and I was taking her home.  "Come with me," she said and led me into the shop.  Once inside, she pulled an old cigar box out from underneath many layers of
merchandise.  "Take this medicine and rub it on her tummy.  NOT on her head! She will feel better.  I promise."   Honestly, I wasn't sure what to say.  Yes, it was very, very kind of her to offer the medicine.  But what in the heck was it?  How was I supposed to know if it worked?  What if Jenna had some kind of reaction to it?  The last thing I wanted was to have this wonderful woman think I didn't appreciate her kind gesture.  So, I accepted the medicine and promised that I would return it the next day.   Back at the hotel, I faced my dilemma again. Then, I remembered what my pediatrician had said when I asked him for a broad specturm antibiotic to take for Jenna on the trip.  "Lisa, she's been there a year and Chinese medicine has helped her through anything she's had.  I think Chinese medicine can get her through for two weeks until you can get her home."   It made sense.  And of course, this woman wouldn't have offered me anything that would make Jenna worse.  So, I did what she said.  I rubbed the medicine, a very small amount, on Jenna's tummy.  I have no idea if the medicine was what worked since I have no idea what made Jenna vomit in the first place.  All I know is that she didn't vomit again after that.  The next morning, I made good on my promise and took the medicine back.  As I entered the shop, I noticed the woman was not there, but an older gentleman.  Before I could say anything to him, he saw the bottle in my hand.  "Baby okay now?"  he asked.  "She doing better?   No more sick?"  I assured him that Jenna was fine and thanked him profusely for the their kindness.  

You could see that the trip was beginning to wear on most of us in our group.   Several people expressed that they were more than ready to return home, and one of the ladies in our group actually cried one night because she was homesick.  I was still having a great time, but I was also getting eager to get home.  I loved China and would go back in a minute, but home was sounding better and better every day.   It's funny. When you get to the White Swan, you are so excited to be on the last leg of your journey that you are very excited upon arrival.  By the time you leave, you are so ready to get home...you're tired, you're a new parent and you're looking forward to sleeping in your own bed, eating your own home
prepared meals, etc.  By the end of the week in Guangzhou, we played a game of spotting the adoptive families and guessing when they had arrived by the look on their faces.  One day a very lively group got on the elevator with me. Testing my theory, I asked, "Just get in?"  "YES!" they chorused.  I knew it.   They had that "we've just arrived at the White Swan" look on their faces.   We were also fortunate enough to be in China during the Festival of the Moon; very appropriate since this is a celebration of family. 

Well, like I said, Guangzhou was wonderful. Aside from Jenna's little bout with some minor stomach bug, everything went like clockwork.  Even though we loved virtually every aspect of our trip, we were happy to be going home.  You could see the stress of the trip, the lack of sleep and the desire for familiar places etched on everyone's face by the last day.  The flight to L.A. was a non-stop out of Guangzhou.  All 25 babies were on board and most were happy as could be.  I had purchased some watermelon from one of the restaurants at the White Swan for the plane ride as I knew Jenna loved it.  It was a wise move.  A few of the babies that were rather upset loved it too, and we shared it with them on the trip.  Luckily for us, the flight back was not crowded and again, we had chosen to fly coach.  Several people upgraded to business class for the flight back. In retrospect, I kind of wish we had done that as well, but we saved money by not doing it and we each had a row to ourselves, so it was okay.  Jenna was still the trooper she had been throughout the entire trip and handled the flight home like a pro.  I, on the other hand, was a different story.   I got food poisoning from the dinner served on the flight home.  Needless to say, I got to know the bathrooms intimately on that flight.  Every fifteen minutes like clockwork for the entire 12 1/2 hours of the flight.  Jenna was crashed out on Tom's chest, and he slept virtually the entire flight.  While I was miserable, I took comfort in Jenna's oblivion to the overwhelming nature of what was ahead of her. She looked so tiny and vulnerable sleeping there in the dim light of the cabin.  I also relished her ease of sleep, since I knew the time change would soon wreak havoc with both her and my sleeping schedules.

Landing in L.A. was interesting, to say the least.  As we stood in line for immigration, several families were nervous about making their connections.  We let them get ahead of us in line and they proceeded to make their flights.  We were processed extremely quickly, and let me tell you, the sight of those American flags and all those signs written in a language you can understand is a sight to behold!  As we went through customs, we were prepared to pay duty or whatever was required on everything that we bought.  My husband had meticulously filled out the forms on the plane listing each and every item we purchased.  I probably would have fudged it a little bit, but not my husband!  The customs officer simply waved us through after we received our luggage.  No questions, no nothing.  It was great...no more red tape!  We boarded the bus to our hotel and headed off for a rest before heading home.

The evening in LA was a bit rough on Jenna.  It was going to be a chore to adjust her body clock to US Central time.  We had been told ahead of time that we should plan on one day of adjustment for every hour of time difference.  Since our time difference was thirteen hours, we were heading for the first day of an almost two week adjusment period.  Oh well.  Tom said he would be on "Jenna duty" since I hadn't slept at all on the plane.  She slept, fitfully, for a few hours, but by 1:30 a.m she needed some distraction.  Tom popped her into her stroller and off they went.    I grabbed some additional much needed sleep.  Later that morning, we headed for the airport and our flight to Salt Lake City.  There, we would catch a connecting flight to Chicago and head home.  We called family and friends from the airport and let them know when we would be in and started getting used to the reaction that 8 babies (three other families had headed off to different states in the earlier a.m.) from China cause.  It was the first time we started getting asked the rather dumb (in my opinion ) and insensitive questions that we have now grown rather used to.   "How much did she cost?"  asked one man on the plane.  "If you get her home and you don't like her can you send her back?" asked another. 

At last, it was time to land in Chicago.  At this point, I am going to tell you the rest of the story from my friend's point of view who came to welcome us home.  Kellie arrived at O'Hare about 45 minutes before our plane arrived.  Already a crowd was gathering.  Pink balloons, banners and gifts were plentiful and the air was actually "charged" with a kind of electricity like she had never experienced.  As the time for the plane to land drew neared, the crowd grew to a very large proportion.   Passersby actually stopped and asked what was going on.  When they heard that eight Chinese babies were coming home, many stopped to wait for the Delta flight to arrive.   At last the designated arrival time was only minutes away.  The crowd had grow to such an extreme size that the Delta representative was forced to ask people to step away from the gate so the passengers would be able to deplane.  Then, the voice overhead came on: "Delta Airlines is pleased to announce the arrival of flight 702 from Salt Lake City"  A collective gasp and shudder went through the crowd simultaneously, and the tears started to flow.  Some people were simply fighting back tears, while others were openly sobbing. 

The door opened and the first of the passengers started to deplane.  "Are there any babies on board?" yelled one man uproariously. "Yup, there's a whole bunch of them!" someone yelled back.  And then the first baby came down the jetway and it was utter pandemonium.   "Where's Lisa?!" yelled Kellie.   "She's near the back, but she's on her way." said someone.    Meanwhile, I was trying to walk down the jetway with a diaper bag and a sleeping baby, all the while fighting back tears.  I made the turn and just beyond the doorway, I could see the sea of pink balloons.  Honestly, I don't know how I made it down that jetway, my eyes were so full of tears.  "LISA!"  my friends screamed as I stepped through the doorway. With that, four of my friends pushed through the crowd, embracing Jenna and me.  I was sobbing hysterically by this point. As I looked up, I saw the passengers who would be heading out to another city on our plane standing off to the side, witnessing this wonderful homecoming event.  Many were weeping openly; others were wiping at their eyes and swallowing hard.  To be quite honest with you, many of the events after that are hard for me to remember.  All I really can tell you is that I still cry when discussing the homecoming and my friends who were there tell me that there is nothing like it in the whole world.  And I have to agree.